Oh what can I say. This song comes on the radio and I had to pull over. The lyrics wash over me. The song knocks the breath out of me. I feel the lump in my throat and I know.... I just know the Holy Spirit is alive in me and is jamming out.
The Holy Spirit awakes my soul to soak up the words like a sponge. To pay attention. To stop everything and.... To breathe.
The song is by Need To Breath and the song comes on when I needed to breathe the most. It is not by accident that the bands name is the same as what God is reminding me to do.... always speaking to me...
Trust. Obey. Listen. Be still. Surrender. Oh my daughter how beautiful you are. I designed you and made you. Look at you. So proud. Keep surrending. Stand tall. Be who I called you to be. Don't turn back now.
His love did come find me!
I have surrendered to His design. Oh why did it take so long..
I am bursting inside. I feel the wild fire in me...completely untamable... Crushing the past pain.
Oh man.... these words just wreck me. I have tried to fit into others design my whole life. I tried to be what everyone else wanted me to be. I so badly wanted to be what anyone else wanted me to be that I commuted suicide daily to my own self.
I wanted to be the right weight; so I starved myself.
I wanted to fit in; so I drank.
I wanted to be seen by others as pretty; so I dressed so I would be seen.
I wanted to someone to think of me as smart; so I did whatever it took to succeed.
I wanted to look right; so I went into debt to buy the right clothes.
I wanted to be loved; so I gave myself to others who didn't know how to love or really wanted to love.
I wanted the best of friends; so I didn't guard my heart or chose wisely.
I wanted to make others proud; so I did whatever they needed...whenever they needed me.
I wanted to be needed, wanted, desired; so I daily seeked their attention in all the wrong way.
Putting their thoughts and ideas above His or even my own. That is a dangerous place to be.
The thing about trying to be someone else's design is that you are never happy. YOU will never actually fit their mold and you will continually seek the validation or approval of others as long as you want to fit into their mold.
This is pure hell. This is a slow and painful death. You never have joy or peace as long as you walk this road.
Surrender to his design.
Be you! Be bold and take off the mask! Forgive the people who can't see you or the beauty in you! Look in the mirror and don't be afraid to be original! He doesn't make mistakes!!!
The God of the universe designed you!!!
Screw the mold that so many people are trying to make you, others and I fit into.
His design is so much better. Here is the song:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fGF-MGGLpB0
❤️KGB