Risk taker is not a word used to describe me. I have always been one to play it safe. There was a time I would take small little chances. Safe risk that were suppose to be a good favorable outcome. But you know even most of those smaller risk I had taken (cough many) did not always end in a good way. So I now tend to run or avoid anything that makes me brain scream danger! Warning! risk ahead!
So why do lately I feel like God is asking me to take some risk? To step out? To let go? Some are not small risk. It seems like some things he is calling me to do (and might I add things I desire) are on hold all because I am afraid to take the risk.
Why am I so afraid to take some risk?
Well the list is pretty long. I mean when I think of risk I automatically think: I will fail, what will people think/say, how much will that cost, I can't do that, not qualified. Etc. etc.
Then feelings come in: rejection, shame, the people pleaser weighs in - and well you see there is the problems.
My feelings/thoughts are out weighing his truths and his word which should never be the case. My feelings/thoughts is me trying to control and allowing the enemy to kill steal and destroy my destiny.
God won't allow the enemy to devour me. God keeps loving me....singing to me....
Calling me out upon the water, the great unknown...Trust without borders.....
Great song, but am I ready to be called out into the great unknown? Right now I am stuck with that question. This song has been my song in my head almost all year.....
I knew that this song was/is from Him. He was speaking to me. He is patiently waiting to lead me down this road; this risky bumpy road. He has been calling me out all year to the great unknown; have chosen to not leap- I have been holding myself back.
I just can't seem to fully take that leap.
The road ahead of me seems scary. Financial concerns, worried about trying certain things....again. Putting myself out there.....afraid of being hurt....again.
However, He has been using every method he can to get me to let go. Gentle nudges. He keeps walking me to the edge and whispering go for it baby girl. Even when I don't go... .he is still there and tries again.....
Isn't it funny how he will use anything to start calling more things out of you? He used a children's movie to wake me up the other evening.
The Movie: The Croods
It is all about a family that lives in a cave. The dad is super protective of his family and the daughter of course is at an age where she wants to explore and break rules. They spend most days in darkness (Hello-they live in a cave) however the daughter craves the light.
I don't want to ruin the movie for those who have not seen it, so I am going to try and not reveal too much.
The girl meets a guy who challenges them to chase after tomorrow, to not fear the light or the dark. To jump off the edge and fly. The dad loosens up and realizes he was only trying to protect his family but by protecting them his way they weren't living, they were just not dying. They were following rules that kept them in the dark. They thought they couldn't change. They thought their world was ending and they couldn't do anything about it. The dad was afraid.
As tears streamed down my face, I was full aware of how and what he was doing to get my attention. To tell me that it was time. No more avoiding. I was going to have to open up to the idea of taking risk and actually following through. I can change, and some rules that I had impose on myself, I was going to have to break.
I can't just play with the idea in my heart and mind anymore. It is time for me to leap. Time for me to live, not just live by "not dying"..... I was going to have to leap....
This scares the crap out of me but He is worthy and I can trust him. It is time to leap.
Leap baby girl, I am with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. If things don't end the way you want them, trust my will. There is purpose in all things. I use all things for good. Beauty from ashes---- these words outweigh any thoughts or feelings I have.
He will not forsake you. He will defend you. Hebrews 13:5
For you know that when your faith is tested your endurance has a chance to grow. James 1:3
Things unseen endure forever. Joshua 1:59
He said That's what I mean: Risn your life and get more than you ever dreamed of. Play it safe and end up holding the bag. Luke 19:26
Jesus said Daughter you took a risk trusting me and now you're healed and whole. Live well, live blessed.
Like 8:48
Jesus said to her daughter you took a risk of faith and now you're healed and whole. Live well, live blessed. Be healed of your plague.
Mark 5:34
So what about you? Is it time to take a risk? Are there things that haven't worked out, or things in life that feel stuck? Ask him if it is time to take a leap...a leap of faith, a chance, a risk, a giant leap of letting go..... Only He can tell you, but for me I am jumping.
*Song is by Hillsong called Oceans*