All emotional and it is only 7 in the morning. All emotional and it is Friday. I really just wanted to go back to bed, throw the blankets over my head, and sleep. That however is not what happened. You could be asking "Why are you so emotional? So emotional on a Friday?!" The reason will( might ) make you laugh. Might make you squirm a little too.
However here is the story:
We live in an older home. 1964 house. It is not that old but still older than most. We have rooms that are hot when they should be cold and cold when they should be hot. We have a huge back yard and space between out home and our neighbors; that is why we went with an older home. We probably have foundation issues and lately have had some annoying bugs.
I hate bugs. They make my skin crawl. When I see one I won't sleep for DAYS! Days people. We have a pest man that comes and assures me there is nothing I am doing wrong. It is just that time of year. and the annoying "we live in Texas" quote- ummm like no other state has bugs?!!
So apparently it is "normal" in Texas. Yuck is all I have to say about that. He tells me that they are looking for places to live for the winter and I loudly declare over my home: they are not welcomed here in Jesus name. :-)
So he sprays and puts down some glue traps in the garage. He waves good bye and says see you in 4 months.
Anyways- back to my "why am I emotional this morning" story. So this morning I wake up and my husband has sent me a text. It says "the glue traps have trapped three lizards". I am immediately sad.
I wanted the bugs gone. I, however, had never thought about the lizards. See we have tons of lizards. TONS!!! They are huge and some are very small. They are all white lizards and I know they are good for us to have. I know they are on our side. They are helping us win the war against bad bugs!!! They are just harmless lizards. This is why I was emotional.
I went and checked the traps. I cried.
I wanted the glue traps to catch the "Bad" bugs not awesome wonderful fun things like Lizards.
However, it didn't go down like that.
I took my son to school and came home. I knew the traps had to go but I couldn't just throw these traps away with cool creatures.... that are still alive....
I also knew I could not save them.....
This is where I had a melt down. Asking God for help. Asking him that why do even good things get caught up in traps? Why do I care? Why does it seem that I am the only one who cares about the small things?
Ahh- see when you start getting emotional over some things you start to realize there is a deeper issue there. Seeing the lizards in the trap brought up some big heart issues. The traps were meant for bad things, annoying things, things that were not needed or wanted.
Instead good things and helpless things were caught there instead. Doesn't it seem that sometimes the small helpless good things get stuck? Why do good things...like people get stuck in very yucky stuff??
Something in me; so much anger and sadness welled up in me, that I just had to do some thing. I couldn't just throw this traps away and leave these guys. I somehow realized that I just had to do something. I have felt so stuck lately. So helpless and so tired.... That the least I could do was fix this. I created this mess after all. I have created such a mess of my life - or so it feels like lately- that I couldn't let these guys down. I asked God to help me fix this.
So I did what any person does- I googled glue traps. In my research I found a life saving technique. Vegetable oil. The very first thing on google. Oil. I just knew this was God. Oil is symbolic in so many ways.
I got it out and it went to work. I poured oil all over the traps and grabbed a spatula and helped worked the three lizards free.
No joke.
I cried the whole time. The guys were so tired. They weren't even trying to fight anymore. They were so stuck they almost seemed like they didn't even want to be free anymore. The yucky glue was holding them back. They had given up. They had surrendered to dying.
I felt God speaking to me. The glue can be words, past regrets, situations, drugs, addictions, lust, greed, porn etc etc. So good people get stuck. They get trapped in these yucky "glue traps" and no matter how much they try to work to get free the more they get stuck and pulled in. No matter how hard they try to be good or better they are still stuck.
When trapped we can't get out on our own. We need help. And lots of oil.... I mean love, prayer, time.... Patience, friendships.....but mostly love from God.
He is our savior.
If not we just stay stuck and we get weary and tired and dragged down even more. We continue to kick and scream and yet nothing changes......
Only He can help us out of those sticky traps.
I have been in many times traps but I can testify that every trap I have been freed from was always because of Him. Not because of how hard I tried to get free on my own...It was always when I stopped trying and always when I looked for His help. Every single time. It was always him that got me unstuck.
Whether it words from him, or a verse from the bible or a song or a friendship... everything that came straight from him.....freed me.
Every time I was freed because of him.
So once again why have I waited so long to be freed? Why have I been stuck and allowed myself to grown weary and tired and stay here?
I was able to free 3 lizards today, because of Him. I asked. I prayed. I didn't just throw them away thinking it was pointless or too late.... It is never pointless or too late when you do it with Him.
They were rescued. God tugged on my heart to care. To care even about the small things. Like he has my whole life. Even when others get annoyed or upset or don't seem to care, He wants me to keep caring.
He reminded me that I am forgiven, He will redeem and restore. He will defend me.
I apologized to them (The lizards) at least a hundred times while I poured oil on them. I cried. I wept to God about months of my own heart being stuck in glue traps of some pretty messy yucky things. And you know what?
He freed me too.
He will and can free you too. Don't stay stuck. He is waiting to pour oil on you. to free you. To give you hope and rest and to redeem you.