I find myself daily meeting women who in life have had their voice taken from them. Some have had the courage to fight and find their voice again, but sadly many still fight... many still don't even know their voice.... many don't think their voice matters...
Many were told when they were little their thoughts or opinions didn't matter. Or that they were stupid. Or that their words didn't make sense. Or maybe no one acknowledge what they had to say. No one ever took the time to listen to them.
Some sang that song that came from deep inside...but no one noticed....
Some were at a very young age told to be quiet... To wait... Not now.... I am too busy.... Wait until a commercial....again feeding into the lie that their voice didn't measure up...
Maybe as an adult they believed they were Debbie downer....too loud......too quiet. Maybe because they didn't go to college or to the right church so they think they can not join into that conversation.... Their whole life they were silenced because of their past mistakes....Maybe they even believed they were obnoxious.... Crazy....not part of that inner circle....
So at a very younge age they start questioning everything they said or thought. Some as they got older did not want to share to much or say the wrong thing so they just become that quiet girl.
Some stopped talking cause they feel or felt they drove others away. That quiet girl stayed quiet. Hiding her thoughts, or emotions, or experiences....
Some women speak and beat themselves up afterwards. "I shouldn't have said that" athem rings EVERYTIME they speak. I was too bold....Too honest....Too open...Too me...Too much..too fast.... Of course that silences their voice even more.
Many women start stifling their own voice because someone started that process for them long ago.
Many women struggle to find that courage to speak in a group or even to one.
Many speak and then go home and beat themselves up for things she said or didn't say..... Their voice dying in the process.
This woman is me, maybe you....your neighbor....a girl you know...your best friend...daily she faces the mirror and thinks I have really screwed up this time. Shouldn't have typed that...Said that...Wrote that....Or sometimes she may think why didn't I say that.... Type that...Write that.... Your voice strangled in a variety of ways....
Daily she is her own worse enemy. Daily struggling to put a muzzle on it or to take it off.
Daily wondering does my voice even matter? Does anyone even listen....care....see....
often feels like she blew it....
That butterfly that floats in and out... Never really belonging....
Floating....
Waiting....
Growing.........
To be continued
KGB❤