Today of all days to not have a camera with me. Seriously. Epic Fail. I wish I could have capture the beauty of the rainbow I saw. I told my husband it was by far the prettiest thing I had ever seen in my life. I wanted to share this beautiful scene with others.
Some things are just for you. Some things can't be captured. He begins to whisper.
This is so cool I just want to share!!! This is for you. You can't capture uniqueness.
My son and daughter got to see what I saw. Their eyes shared a site that I can only describe as beautiful. My daughter is so young she will forget. My son is so young he doesn't really know what we just saw. Just for you. A gift.
It was so unique. A rainbow that was not like any other rainbow. It was a rainbow that didn't fit the cookie cutter rainbow we normally see. I have never seen anything like this before. Unique. Gift.
There was no rain. It was a very sunny day. A few clouds, but in the sky a rainbow. It was a straight line rainbow- no curve and just hanging in the sky. The colors in it were amazing! Red, orange, teal, green, purple, blue, yellow and it had a shimmer to it. Now you might be thinking I was hallucinating but I assure you I did not.
A rainbow that didn't fit the typical mold of a rainbow. My eyes couldn't stop watching it. It was so pretty. So many colors. So unique. So not typical. So random. So out of the blue. Just like you.
I cried. My Heavenly Father spoke words to me that I needed to hear. Just like you. I promise, you shimmer.
Just like me. I love color. I do. I am not typical. I am pretty random. I am not like others. I tend to do things differently than everyone else. I tend to hate myself a lot for being so different. What others see as gifts, I tend to crave to be "normal". I shimmer in all the wrong places. My masterpiece. You are.
I got home and tried to take a snap shot but nothing was left in the sky by the time I hit the button. Just for you.
I sat in the backyard for a long time. I just cried. He seriously is listening. I have lately been speaking a lot to him about self acceptance. Speaking to him about things in my heart. Things that are broken in my heart and mind. The pure lonely feeling that consumes me.
I have been pursuing friendships (which is a blog all by itself) that haven't really been working out. I have found myself in trouble again for something I did not do. I am feeling shame from a place that I should not feel shame from. I want to run yet my body can not run due to a bad knee. I need to be refreshed. Where is the reset button?
My birthday is a few days away and I feel like I am having a midlife crisis. At age 31?! Oh what a mess. You are my unique gift.
I couldn't capture the beauty He put infront of me today with a camera. But I did capture what He said and what He showed me in my weary heart. He captured me this afternoon. He showed me how I have allowed others to capture my attention and my heart in all the wrong ways. I allow them to try to capture me, however you can't capture uniqueness. Since others have my attention, my shimmer doesn't come through. Only He can capture my true shimmer.
He is the only one who can capture it all Some things I cannot capture, but He can. Just like others I want to capture things to share or to remind others when reality is only He can do that.
I know a rainbow is symbolic to a promise.
I am pretty certain my promise was a reset. He pushed that button today.
I know that normally when I am in a funk- rain normally comes in the natural and "washes" it away. It seems to renew me in a way I can't explain but today there was no rain. Just a random unique rainbow that was just for me. A new promise. I couldn't capture Him, but He captured me.