So far from where I once was but still on a journey from being changed from the inside out.
Recently a certain video and certain young star has been under fire for the way she dressed and the way she danced. My heart breaks for her and her family. As the mother of a young daughter I instantly prayed for her and the young girls in her generation.
At the same time I remembered myself at that age and had hope that this young girl can still turn things around. She can still be used for the kingdom. He uses all things for His good.
I know cause I have been redeemed and restored.
It might shock some of you to know this but it was not many years ago that I too dressed a certain way, danced a certain way and lived in a way that was anything but gloryifying to God.
I can actually recall things in my life where I should not be here today. A suicide attempt, drugs, alcohol, crazy adventures in Mexico, and the list goes on and on... But by the grace of God I am still alive. I am still here for his purpose.
I am still here for a purpose. Just saying that brings tears to my eyes. This young girl, you and many others are here for a reason.
I think back of all my mistakes and unlike some who may not see me as anything but crazy or still needing freedom or whatever judgement passes over them- I am so far from who and where I once was- that I praise God for where and who I am right now. I know I still have a way to go. Trust me many people remind me often of areas I still need help in; but one thing I have learned life is a journey. A journey means that everyday you are in process of forever changing, growing, and blooming. If you can remember that it makes others thoughts and opinions not matter as much.
This young girl is making crazy mistakes but it doesn't mean her life can't or won't be turned around. We can either shame her, point out all the things wrong with her or just turn our backs on her- but none of this is what God calls us to do.
I have been around a lot of well meaning godly woman who meant no harm and only tried to call things out in me to help me. To change me for the better or to fix things for the better. However, in case you don't know- that never works.
The only people that ever really helped me or brought around change (or freedom) were those who loved me just the way I was: first.
They never loved me to change me; they loved me just the way I was when I met them: Just like God does. I didn't have to clean up first to be in their life: God called me when I was still living a life of sin. They never tried to make me their project: You are God's child not his project. They only did what God tells us all to do: Just to love. Love never fails.
They loved me so much that they never saw all this "bad" that others saw or maybe they did but never pointed a finger at it. In fact they still do not. They loved me just the way He loved me when I first came to him. They accepted me as I was. Broken, messy or maybe they only saw a treasure and/or that precious funny girl that he made me to be; either way those people are the ones he used.
It seemed that in those friendships or in the relationships God then used them to bring me closer to him. The closer I got to them- the closer I got to him; and the closer I got to him the more I received freedom or I was changed. I was never fixed or changed from that person pointing out my faults. I was changed when these people brought me to God. I was changed because when you experience God you can't stay the same.
I could not get closer to him on my own because I kept judging his love. I kept thinking he loved me the way these "Christians" loved me. I was so wrong about him. He does not love the way some people love. Let me say that again: HE DOES NOT LOVE THE WAY SOME PEOPLE LOVE.
He brought me to people who really understand no stones, no shame, and no judgement. He brought me to people and unveiled my true beauty to them; the ones that took the time to see my heart- not my faults.
Why am I saying all this? What is my point? My point is this- I am still on a journey of becoming me. I am not all better and have areas to grow in and areas that need to be fixed but I have learned that I am a work in progress. Just like all of us are. Including this girl.
I am being painted by the best artist in the world. When others see ugly he sees beauty. I can not and will not let others say what I am or who I am. I will stand up for myself and not receive anything that is not from my creator. Will you do the same?
I am standing up for this girl. I am NOT excusing her behavior but I am going to keep on loving her. I am not going to bash her, or point out all the wrong. I am not going to tell her parents where they went wrong. I am guessing satan is loving how so many of the religious people are reacting to this.
Seems when haters hate that gets more notice than when others show love. Don't you think there is a reason behind that?
What are you spreading?
I can see a little of myself in her and I look back now and thank God for the work he has done in me and that gives me hope that it can still be done in her. Loving her at her worst moment (and this may or may not be her worse moment) is going to be better than anything else I can say or do. I am going to pray. I am going to write a letter and I am going to give her God. I am going to love her right now. Not for the way she was or for the way she could be. I am going to love her the way the father sees her.
I can say without a doubt I am definitely here for a reason. Just like you. Just like her. When you start realizing that, it's easier to see people the way He sees them and then easier to just love them right where and how they are.
❤KGB
"Talk and act like a person expecting to be judged by the rule that sets is free. For if you refuse to act kindly, you can hardly expect to be treated kindly. Kind mercy wins over harsh judgement every time."
James 2:12-13